Double Chubb race report

 

I had a tough time falling asleep the night before my race, but I wasn’t super worried. I have been told that two nights before the race is when it is important to get a good night’s rest and I comforted myself with that. I am not sure if it was nerves or just nervous energy keeping me up, but I read, meditated and still I laid there awake. When sleep did finally come I slept well, except getting up to go to the bathroom once. When my alarm went off at 5:45 am it still felt really early. I pulled myself out of bed, dressed and went upstairs to eat. Thursday, I spent all day packing and cooking for race day so I had breakfast all ready to be reheated. Nerves finally set in that morning and I had to force myself to eat my gluten free pancake and scrambled eggs. Everything was going well until I filled my hydration pack with water and it just ran back out of the place where the hose connects. I just looked at it…I didn’t pack a spare, what the hell was I going to do!? I texted my coach, Coleen, and she said no worries she would try to track down a handheld water bottle for me from someone she knew at the race but worst case I could just carry a regular water bottle. I knew it would be fine but it didn’t help my nerves! I finished breakfast and left a little early, hoping to find an open Walmart so that I could buy a new water reservoir. As luck would have it there was a Walmart on my way to the race! They didn’t have a regular bladder, just a huge one with cooling gel. When you are wearing it all day you do not want the extra weight and it was twice the price. Finally I just bought a whole backpack setup. It was cheaper and I took the bladder out of it.  I grabbed what I needed and headed for the start line! The new bladder didn’t really fit in my pack well, but I didn’t care, anything had to be better than carrying a handheld for 30 miles! I get pissed off at my handheld after 6 miles, there was no way I would have a good day with it.

I filled the new bladder, dropped my bag at the turnaround aid station and ate another gluten free pancake with peanut butter on it. I felt as ready as I was going to get so I lined up at the start with a few other ladies waiting in line for the bathroom and made small talk. The start line had a digital countdown going and we could tell from the length of the line and the timer we weren’t going to make it to the bathroom before the gun went off. I wasn’t too concerned since I am pretty sure I only felt like I had to go from nerves. Anyone else like that? Nervous bladder? Anyone?

I was nervous for this race and the time goals Coleen and I set made me a little light headed, but I felt really trained and ready. Not being from the area I had never been on the trails before, so I was excited to see what it had in store for us. Friday night it had stormed its ass off so people were warning me that it might be really sloppy out there. I thought to myself, sloppy would suck but I survived two loops at Winter Wyco this year, I can handle it.

The starting horn blew, and we were off. It started on pavement and I took off running with everyone else. Immediately we began to climb and I had to remind myself, “don’t go out like an asshole!” and slow to a hike. The first part of the race is a decent climb uphill so I did a lot of hiking. Our plan for me was to power hike all the uphills in the first half and run  the downhills and the flats. The course is kind of like a bowl, you go up then drop down to a flatter section before climbing back out and once we topped that big hill I had hella fun running back down it. I love a technical downhill! I bombed down the rocky hill, crossed a little creek into an open field and found aid station number 1. I had snacked on a kind bar during the first few miles but Coleen wants me to eat at every aid station no matter how recently I snacked so I got potatoes and oranges and took off again. The next section reminded me so much of Shrek’s swamp, I kept shouting, “What are you doing in my swamp?” in my best Shrek voice. No one found me funny except me, but hey I am the one that matters right? We were running sandy river trails along the Meramec river. It was green, wet, muddy in some places and flat. I think I definitely ran too fast, but I just felt really good.

I chuckled to myself as I watched people try to go around the puddles on the trail in this section. It was wet everywhere and there was no way to keep your feet dry. I just ran right down the middle in the mud and water. This proved to be the best line later when we got to our first water crossing. Some runners were stopping trying to figure out how to jump a 7-foot-wide creek. It isn’t happening people, you will be wet, just go through it! Thank God for wool socks! They were wet from mile 4 on but my feet were never cold. They just work so damn well. I hit the fire road feeling good!

Photo credit Mile 90 Photography

It was at this point that I began to have some issues with my menstrual cup. If you don’t want to read about period issues, then I will give you a minute to skip ahead to the next paragraph…. Ok, for those of you that stayed with me, the damn thing started sliding out! I swear it felt like the damn thing was at my knees. I knew there was a port a john at the turn around aid station, so I just kept running. Coming into the aid station at mile 7ish there was a lot of two-way traffic on a single track, so it slowed me down. I got into the aid station, ate then hit the bathroom. I was hoping the issue was that it was full, which can make it slide out. The bathroom was so nasty there was no way I was going to sit down in there, so I had to take out the cup, which wasn’t full, empty it and put it back in standing back up. That isn’t the best method and I knew immediately upon leaving that it wasn’t right still. I’m going to get real honest here and tell you I think the reason it wasn’t fitting correctly is because I was incredibly constipated. My asthma had been super flared up over the last few months and I was on week 4 of prednisone. A happy tummy that does not make. Anyway, it wasn’t staying in place and I wasn’t happy about it. I stopped two more times in the woods and tried to put the damn thing back in, but it wasn’t going well. When I got to the mile 11 aid station I went into the bathroom, took it out and bagged it. Fuck it, I couldn’t deal with a chaffed vagina, I would rather chance it without it. Thankfully I wore my Thinx,  that day, so I wasn’t totally free bleeding.

This course is a double out and back so remember that big hill I ran down, now I get to climb back up it. It is huge! My calves were burning, and my hip flexors were getting sore. It seemed to take a lot longer to get back to the pavement coming back. This section is very rocky, so it is a little slippery which slowed me down a bit, but since I had been running a little fast it wasn’t a bad thing. You hit the pavement and run downhill, you can see the finish line and they send you back into the woods up another giant hill. The first lap it was cruel, the second lap it was torture! I spent a little time at the start finish aid station and changed into new wool socks. I knew they would be wet again in 4 miles, but it was worth it to have dry feet for a little while. By this time, it is raining pretty consistently but I enjoyed my midway treat, a grapefruit LaCroix and some potato chips, then feeling a little stiff I took off on loop two. I was getting sore and afraid that this loop was going to be a lot slower than the first. Hiking back up the same first hill shook things out a little bit and I was looking forward to the big downhill run again. I hit the aid station again and headed back into the swamp. The mud really got to me the second loop and I walked more than I wanted to, but I am super proud of myself because I refused to let myself get caught in the walking too much trap. I would walk a few steps and then say aloud, “Suck it up buttercup” or “it is supposed to be hard” and run again. I for sure got hit by the struggle bus in loop two but I kept on moving forward. When I got to the aid station to turn around and head back for the last time I lingered a little bit eating. I had ham, oranges, a lot of coke and chatted a bit. It was really raining now but the temps were warm enough that I was still in my tank top and didn’t want my rain shell. Back over the water crossings for the last time and through the swamp to the last aid station where I enjoyed the best avocado of my life! Then the push to the finish line!

After hiking uphill on loop one I was supposed to run as much of loop two as I could. I knew even on my best day I couldn’t run up the big hill to get out of the bowl, so I knew there was a lot of hiking in my future. I was so sore that I was afraid I would be miserable and lose ton of time on the big hills, but I didn’t. I just kept muscling through and climbing up. I did have to stop and catch my breath a few times. It was about this time that my left knee really started to hurt, and my stomach decided it was time to poop. I told them both to fuck off, we had less than five miles left in this race and I would deal with them when I finished. As you hit the pavement at the end there is a port a john, it’s about mile 27. I really didn’t want to stop and lose any time, but my stomach wouldn’t wait any longer, so I made a quick pit stop and then ran down the hill to go back up the last climb. The climb although really challenging wasn’t as bad as I was afraid it would be on exhausted legs but coming down into the finish was a little slower than loop one, it was wet, slick and I was tired.

Photo credit Mile 90 Photography

I finished this race in 7 hours and 22 minutes which is a little over a two-hour improvement in my personal record for a 50K. I have never been prouder of a race, I ran smart, I ate a ton and I kept pushing even when it was hard. Running for me is never a solo sport, I couldn’t do it without a lot of help. I have friends and family watching my kids, so I can practice, my coach guiding me, friends encouraging me and running with me, I can’t thank them enough!

 

Shawnee Hills 50k

If you read my Bryce Canyon 50k blog you know that I DNF’d. It was so disappointing after all the training so I decided to try again to conquer the 50k. After searching I found one that fit in my timeline and wasn’t terribly far away. Best of all the accommodations were included in the race entry fee!!! I read the course description, followed them on Facebook and signed up. The Shawnee Hills 100 mile Endurance Race looked amazing. It had waterfalls, a national forest and treehouses!!

The last weekend in August I packed up my nathan hydration vest and headed to southern Illinois. The race started and ended at  Camp Ondessonk, the cutest little place. It has all these cabin clusters that are mostly three walled, open air tree houses. We ended up with four walls but had a fun deck and fire pit. We got settled in, attended the pre race meeting and made dinner before heading to bed.

Race Day dawned with perfect running weather. I was a lot more nervous this time. I don’t know if it was the fear of failing or just knowing the challenge I was heading into, on purpose. My coach, Coleen gave me a bracelet with her picture and a reminder not to go out like an asshole. This was my mantra for the first 3 miles.

I tried to take it nice and slow for the first few miles, which wasn’t terribly hard since there were a few hills to get out of the campground. The forest was gorgeous, even though all the water fall’s were dry.

My asthma was really giving me trouble and I struggled to breathe. I wasn’t sure if the nerves were causing the asthma or the asthma was making the nerves worse but I felt both of them, terribly the first 10 miles or so. Feeling very frustrated I wondered if I was cut out to run long distances. The mind is such an important part of distance running so I tried coming up with a mantra to help me stay positive but I could not think of anything I believed. Finally I settled on the song from the Lego movie. “Everything is awesome!” I sang this over and over to myself, the entire day.

Around mile 5 we came out of the woods onto a fire road, heading into aid station number 1. I was pretty sure there were only 2 people behind me so I was surprised when people started passing me. At first I thought maybe I was mistaken about how many people were behind me, but as more and more runners came from behind and passed me I started to panic that I had taken a wrong turn and cut the course somehow. When a girl I had spoken to in the first mile passed me I asked her what was up. Turns out a large group of runners had taken a wrong turn and added a little distance to their race. This would be an ongoing theme for this race. I felt pretty good at the first aid station, so with Coleen’s words echoing in my ears I got in and got out very quickly.

The next big challenge was a very rocky section. I found it difficult to run this stretch and did a lot of power hiking. There were people everywhere setting up for a day of rock climbing. Coming out of this section I spotted a local photographer hired to document the race. He was set up for an amazing shot but I was nervous I would fall and make a fool of myself. I decided to run across the rocks anyway, injuries be damned, I wanted a cool race photo. Mile 90 photography did not disappoint!!!!

Photo Credit Mile 90 Photography

Right after this image was taken I heard my name being shouted. My husband Dave and my friend Leia were at the top of the falls and cheering for me! I looked up and then around and said aloud, “How the hell do I get up there?” I soon found out! This was one of the coolest sections of the race. I got to run through a “cave” and up a steep rock climb! Then the trails led along the top of the falls. This section was hard but so amazing we went back and hiked it Sunday. Coming into the second aid station I knew I needed to lose the tall socks and ankle brace. I was hot and it was rubbing my foot wrong. Lucky for me Dave and Leia were waiting for me. They changed my shoes and fed me and had me back out of there like a professional pit crew.

The next aid station was about 5 miles away and by the time I was heading into it my hip flexors were really hurting. I wasn’t sure I could keep going.  I hiked with another runner for about a quarter of a mile and she encouraged me to keep moving. At the aid station I fueled up on soda and pickles. It was really starting to heat up so I had them give me ice to take out on the trail too. A guy I knew had passed me early on was hanging out at the aid station. I asked if he was ok and tried to encourage him to head back out on the trail. He turned me down but then decided to catch up to me a little way down the trail. His name was Jason and he became my race buddy. We stuck together for the rest of the race. When I threw up at mile 25 he waited for me to pull it together and we headed out together. If one of us could run we both tried, when one of us needed a walk we both  hiked. We stuck together the next 16 miles and it was just what I needed. I did finish this race, in 9 hours and 30 minutes. I couldn’t have done it alone, Dave, Leia and Jason all got me through. 

This race suffered from vandalism several times. People using the trails were taking down course markings. It caused a lot of runners to get lost, multiple times during the race. Most runners missed the third aid station which left them with 13 miles or more between places to refuel. I cannot stress how dangerous this was. Missing a water refill with that far to go in the heat of August is not something to mess around with. I was so lucky I never got lost but I may literally be the only one that didn’t. I wanted to feel stronger for the race. I didn’t want to struggle as early as I did but that was what happened. I promised myself the entire race and the rest of the week that I wouldn’t do another one. I checked it off my list now I can stick with half marathons or 25k’s. This week I am researching my next 50k. That is what trail runners do. We have a love hate relationship with the distance and the pain. My plan is to spend the winter getting stronger and focusing on my weaknesses.

I am proud of my accomplishment, I ran even after vomiting, through pain and mental fatigue. The aid stations were amazing and kind, my crew ROCKS and the forest was absolutely stunning. I call it a success!!!

Who am I?

Your parent’s influence you by the way they raise you. Your friends impact your world and your self-esteem by the way they treat you. Your teachers and bosses create a lasting mark on your work ethic and how you see yourself as a student and employee.  You pick up a book and you identify with the character or you go to church and you feel it stir your soul. You feel connection and awareness on a walk through the woods and you find security and love in a laughing fest with a friend. There are so many moments that shape us throughout our lives, right down to the day we take our last breath. So, through all of these feelings, connections, influences and moments when our soul feels free, how do we know who we really are?

Our friend Kelly at Elements Studio Photography recently did an art photo shoot where everyone picked a word that they identified with. It was incredibly moving to see the way that we humans categorize ourselves based on past experience, interaction or relationship with other humans and many other circumstances that were often beyond our control.  Some people claim their word and allow it to give them strength and give them wings. Others of us are more prone to being caged by this reality and allowing those defining walls to hold us back within the boundaries of our insecurities. With so many emotions and so many roller coaster rides through fear and love and indecision, how do we settle on the core of who we are? How do we set a foundation for being unapologetically, confidently, fearlessly our true authentic self?

In my experience, being able to tap into awareness is at the heart of finding a grounded sense of where our core being begins.  That moment while reading a book and your heart felt lighter, that first step into nature where your feet were on clouds, that conversation with your best friend with the most amazing cup of coffee that just felt right… Those are the moments where we find ourselves. The moments when you catch yourself in such a connected moment that even your physical body can’t help but respond, pay attention. Be Aware. If it makes you feel lighter or makes your heart feel full, then it’s feeding your soul which means that’s a glimpse of your true self. Grab on to these moments and let them soak in! We push ourselves through pain and stress and endless emotions on a daily basis and we lose sight of the fact that emotions are important. Those emotional, mental and spiritual connections to our bodies are a gift that we would benefit from paying attention to.

I think a lot of times we get caught up thinking that these self discovery moments need to be a big grandiose slap in the face that pushes us into a higher version of ourselves. I don’t know how many of you have actually experienced that flamboyant of a moment, but I bet the majority of you have at least had a tiny moment of feeling “right” in your body. We don’t have to discount the smaller things in life, not ever. In fact, I believe that the more we learn to be grateful for the little things like a new running PR or a delicious home cooked meal, the more we ground ourselves into this amazing being we were created to be. Pay attention to what makes you feel. What stops you in your tracks with a GOOD emotion? Be aware of what touches your soul and feels great all the way down to your toes! And then, do more of THAT! Don’t be afraid to embrace pleasure and joy along with the stress and frustration that can sometimes haunt our everyday lives. You deserve to feel alive! It is your right as a human to feel pleasure along with pain, to feel strong and confident in your skin and to know that no matter what is going on with you, you have stability and a deep-seated knowing that who you really are will never be rocked by outside circumstances. I know, I know.. These are just a bunch of fluffy words that aren’t super specific but why do we feel like we need three steps and a mantra to put us on the right path? Mantras are fantastic! Having a 10 step program to better our personal life? Awesome! But you don’t NEED that! You just need you, and an intention to be aware of and notice yourself. You are important. You are significant. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are enough. You are always, undeniably, courageously, passionately, beautifully enough.